When I run into friends in the men’s locker room at the gym, the banter is a dance between wanting a meaningful exchange and holding back because of the guys around us who we don’t know. Contrast this with the locker room of a sports team where each man has a relationship with each other which is exercised regularly on and off the sports field. Void of castrated public ettitquette, the words uttered here are raw masculine intent so powerful that a boy’s or man’s life outcomes can turn on what is said and heard.
We recall past conversations with guys, especially as young men, in which it was like the conversation was controlled by a script we all shared telling us how to speak, listen and respond in manly ways. While the brain is many shades of wonder, this particular script is distinctly old programming with a single game-like objective – Gain power over other males.
Changing these conversations requires us to notice when this old script is engaged and either consciously disengaging it or adding parameters which allow you to use it to help ourselves and all men thrive. Here is an evolving list of terms you will encounter in this Locker Room which have this end in mind.
Penis power can be a refuge which we represent simply in the penis with one of the Three Gemstones. And fundamentally, it is premised on the complete acceptance of the penis we have.
The penis can be both a lightenting rod for penis power and a point of crossing between the mind and spirit. The more effortlessly information can cross, the more our quality of life changes for the better.
We can recognise penis power in many ways but it is also the light, warmth and radiance which incorporates our sexual energy. It will help us open a deeper and more honest relationship with our penis. Cultivating it in abundance can be life long but it will be be a resource that leads us to happiness, stability and innter strength.
A pervasive issue for men all over the World, penis weakness derives from a concern about our penis size, and performance comprising sex drive, stiffies and ejaculations. It can result in growing anxiety and self-doubt which can eat away at our confidence in every aspect of life. Penis weakness is rooted in too narrowly defined norms of what is and is not acceptable for men. A hidden intramasculine system sees men apply social pressure on peers who do not conform.
Potency alone is an important word to men. To be potent is to possess the power and might to influence change. And to be potent is to sustain our sexual function as the engine house of penis power and sexual energy. Looking at it like this, superpotency is the quality born from the fruits of potent ultruisitic action.
A note about sexual intercourse
Fucking and blowies can be fun and mutually pleaseasurable. But in relation to manhood, penetrative sex acts between men can be complex both practically and socio-sexually. The necessity that one partner be receptive and one insertive mean both men do not meet as equals. Imagine the locker room performance and the meaning ascribed to each role one must assume and how penis weakness may be reinforced. Men who define their sexual experience in relation to fucking women or men may be less likely to experience the fullness of penis-centered bonding as a meeting of equals.
The problem with the script is that it does not have an inbuilt constraint which prevents men from eating each other alive in pursuit of power – perhaps hinting at its evolutionary origins. As a result, some men discover they can gain power at the expense of others by enforcing manhood criteria of their choosing and policing it in their peer group using tactics like harrasment to transfer others’ power to themselves.
However, there are no such manhood criteria contained within the script, and neither are the parameters setting out how the game should be played. These exist as constructs not of geneology or Nature but of an unheathy, toxic manhood.
Are these terms and ideas from various sources, including Penis Power by Dr. Dudley, candidates for new criteria or parameters through which we can redefine the manhood we occupy?